A good friend of mine and I were chatting online this evening, and he told me about how his youngest had gotten her fingers caught in a door, and how heart-breaking it was for him to try and comfort her and help her deal with the pain. I then related to him the story of how I ended up with seventeen (or was it twelve? Maybe seven?) stitches in my forehead at the tender age of One, and how the trauma from that still lingers with me today (hint, do not ever try to hold me down, or get pointy objects near my eyes). He then countered with getting his fingers set without the use of painkillers due to his extreme fear of needles, and how he nearly forwent a tetanus shot once because of that fear. It was only because his wife brought his son in to see "how brave his father was" that made him get the shot.
Shortly after that chat, I was perusing the Facebook updates of my friends and realized that the reason I needed to cover for one of my friends at work tomorrow is because he has to fly home for the funeral of an old friend. That made me think about how much it hurts to have to say goodbye to people we love, even when a part of us expects the end to come.
And that brings me to Pain. Emotional. Physical. Psychological. It surrounds us, and is a part of us. It is can be Nature's Way of saying Something is Wrong, or of letting us gently know that we are still alive. Some pain can be worked through, but other pain strikes so hard that it makes the world go white. Other times, the physical pain of one is enough to engender emotional pain in others. This sympathetic pain can be just as debilitating as the real thing, but allowing ourselves that empathy can prevent us from doing or saying this that will hurt others.
At least that's how it is supposed to work. A well developed sense of empathy allows us to mentally walk in another's shoes, and lets us see things from their perspective. It is what allows us to think before speaking, and (hypothetically) keeps us from telling our sister that she looks like a pickle barrel in her new prom dress (even if she does). For emotional pain can be just as debilitating as physical pain, if not more so. At least with physical pain there are drugs and medications that can dull or block the sensation and allow one to function, with little to know social stigma attached to the use of those drugs. Not so much with emotional pain.
For some reason, despite the over-prescription of such medications, society still seems to look down it's nose at those who actually need Prozac, or Zoloft, or Paxil. Take it from someone who's been there, those with severe depression do not need to just "cheer up". The pain of depression is a deep, unsettled ache that permeates the body and robs the mind of any will. There is no point to getting up in the morning, and the only reasons to get out of bed are to go to the bathroom, and maybe eat something. The belief that you are letting family and friends down creates a sympathetic feedback with the depression that causes both to grow stronger until you can't bear to be around anyone, lest they see your failure.
Then there is the pain of a broken heart. Did you know that it is real? It seems there is a genetic link between social rejection and physical pain, and that certain individuals with a rare variation of the gene feel greater pain form socially awkward situations than those with a more normal genetic make-up. This increased sensitivity causes those individuals to avoid nearly any social situation where rejection might occur.
That's my excuse, anyway, and I'm sticking to it!
