Sorry, I can't Save the World Today, I just Turned 20 - Part One

Why do I have to play as a teenager in JRPG's?  Why can't I be an adult, in the prime of life, that is faced with overwhelming odds and impossible tasks, and forced to learn valuable lessons before the world can be saved?  Is it because impossible tracks seem more impossible from a sixteen year old's perspective?  Is it because teenagers are blank slates waiting for Life to inscribe the bitter lessons of Love and Betrayal?

No, it's because it's creepy for a 30+ year old man to nail the sixteen-year old heroine!

Okay, maybe not, but it certainly makes sense.

I started thinking about this question when I realized how much joy I took from the fact that Final Fantasy XII's Vaan wasn't a whiny little emo bitch.  Looking back on the Final Fantasy titles from FFVII to present, I couldn't name one of the male protagonists who didn't make me want to slap the stupid out of him. 

Final Fantasy VII had the emotional cripple hat trick with Cloud, Barrett, and Sephitroth, where as VIII's cast was comprised of nothing but Hot Topic teens due to the fact the were all orphans and the way Guardian Forces worked.

FFIX's Zidane almost manages to buck this trend of pussification, but then about halfway through the game he finds out his True Purpose in Life(tm), forgets everything he's learned about being a responsible person, and turns into an emo-goth.  This leads to my most hated RPG-cliche  - The Group Hug - by his friends to bring him out of it (note to self: do an entire post about this one). 

IX's near derailment of the Squeenix Emo-bitch train is followed by a full return to form with Tidus from FFX.  To be fair, Tidus really doesn't get a chance to be anything more than a blond pretty-boy with daddy issues.  Not long after he learns that the girl of his dreams is destined to sacrifice herself to save the world, he also discovers that he is actually a Dream himself.  I swear, looking back on that paragraph it is like I just stumbled onto someone's Livejournal entry.

Ew.  I have LJ on me.

Now with FFXII, Squeenix finally gave us a young, blond, male hero that actually acts like a seventeen-year old.  Vaan has problems, and he makes stupid decisions, but he handles all this with normalcy.  No whining about identity, or lost parents, or about how nobody understands him.  Really, it is very refreshing.  Now if only the combat wasn't Ass McCrakers with a side Poop.