I saw this link on Twitter today. Alas, it is not real, but a shoop. Still, it generated a chat most amusing with a friend - a chat I wish to share with you!
me: dude, check out the link that @choochoobear just tweeted.
11:28 AM Mysterious Friend: How to fold a flag?
me: no, after that
11:29 AM Mysterious Friend: W! T! F?!?
11:30 AM me: yeah, pretty much my reaction
11:33 AM Mysterious Friend: What's the purpose of that hideous fellatio hole in his face?
11:35 AM me: My bet is that a sex toy factory had an overrun on the Hungerin' Hank sex doll, and someone had the bright idea of dressing it up like Superman and selling it to the kiddies
11:39 AM Mysterious Friend: Makes more sense that i want it to. I bet Lex Luthor has like 12.
11:41 AM me: the Vidal Sassoon model Superman from the mid-90's when he "died" is his favorite.
He loves to just cuddle close and stroke its hair.
11:46 AM Mysterious Friend: Part of me shuddered when I read that...the other part imagined him doing it wear a Lois Lane outfit. I am a conflicted man.
11:47 AM me: The confliction is funny, though.
11:48 AM Mysterious Friend: Ultimately that is all that is really important.
me: indeed
11:49 AM Mysterious Friend: If we lived closer I would attempt to coerce you into starring as Lex in a short film based on this.
11:50 AM You'd make a good Lex Luthor.
11:51 AM me: Thanks, but there is no way I am dressing up as Lois Lane. Bitch has Barbie proportions, and my waist is waaaaay to big!
11:52 AM Mysterious Friend: We wouldn't focus on that.
11:53 AM Really the focus would be on the red dress and putting on the make up.
11:56 AM me: This is the song that Lex will sing as he gets dressed:
11:57 AM it's even funnier if you know that Maia Sharp is a lesbian.
12:03 PM Mysterious Friend: That is perfect.
12:04 PM me: Lex ends the song sobbing the last refrain quietly while using the hem of his dress to smear-wipe the tears that are ruining his mascara.
12:05 PM Mysterious Friend: You are a true genius.
I don't know how I missed this but I wish it had come out on the Wii.
12:06 PM me: what, the Superman Sex doll? Now, that would be an awkward accessory
Mysterious Friend: Seems like more of a Kinect accessory.
12:09 PM me: oh man, wouldn't that just make it awesome? "Mount Superman from behind, and thrust wildly to simulate sex - the screen will vibrate erratically when climax is near - when vibrations are at their peak, donkey punch Superman to ensure ensure highest score!
12:11 PM Mysterious Friend: That would make an awesome mini game. Would it come with little purple trunks that have a pocket in the crotch for the nun chuck?
12:11 PM me: Nah, you just stick in your pants
12:14 PM Mysterious Friend: I already do when ever I play baseball on Wii Sports.
12:16 PM me: Really? I do it for Tennis and Bowling. I like to imagine that my testicles are detachable, and that they are the size of cannonballs.
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