Were I a better writer, I would be able to frame this next piece as an extended scene from the Tex Avery classic House of Tomorrow. The scene would open something like this...
Narrator's Voice: Tired of being surprised by roaches?
{silhouette of figure in doorway, back lit by by room beyond, flicks on light switch in kitchen revealing a roach Mardi Gras complete with parade, floats, and drunken frat roaches flinging beads about wildly; after a stunned moment on both sides, the woman screams - hair sticks out straight, shooting curlers in every direction - and roaches scatter leaving behind multi-colored ticker tape, miniature empty beer bottles, and beads}.
Narrator's Voice: Never fear! The House of Tomorrow features the very latest in Pest Control!
{Frazzled woman - hair still standing straight out ala Bride of Frankenstein - grabs sleepy man by ear, and forces him out of bed. Furious, he storms down stairs into kitchen, kicking aside a miniature roach float still occupied by drunken frat roaches - a tiny "whooooo-hooooo!!" is heard before the float impacts against wall with a loud crunch. Furious man walks to wall switch marked "Pest Control" and pushes button.}
{Out from a miniature door swarm dozens of miniature robots; Man points to remains of roach Mardi Gras, and then points to the walls around him, then draws finger across throat in an exaggerated slicing motion - lead robot salutes, and husband turns dial next to switch until it stops at "Roaches". Arcs of electricity surround miniature robots, and their breast plates start expanding, they grow antennae and extra legs, and finally long evening gowns. The lead robot, now a Mae West roach look-alike gives the husband a slow wink, then the robots scatter.}
{The next montage shows the roach fembots popping out of cakes at roach stag parties, standing on street corners and flagging down roach businessmen in seedy roach districts, and extending a long roach leg out from a darkened alleyway to entice roach sailors fresh off the boat. This is followed by scene after scene of roaches falling over - X's for eyes and huge grins on their faces - and piling up on top of each other. Once the last roach has been thrown onto the pile, the roach fembots douse the pile with gasoline as the Mae West roachbot takes a final slow drag from its cigarette, before flicking the butt on to the pyre, igniting. As one, the roachbots rip off their evening gowns, and begin dancing around the burning pile of roach corpses like in that scene from Apocalypse Now - you know, the really disturbing one at the end where the natives are sacrificing a bull at the same time Martin Sheen's character is killing Marlon Brando - yeah, that scene!}
{The camera pulls back from the miniature bonfire to show the irate man grinning in satisfaction. Hearing something behind him, he sees the woman, still with Bride of Frankenstein hair, standing with arms crossed, looking very displeased. Man glances towards dial on the wall, and turns it until it stops at "Mother-in-Law". As one, the roachbots cease their dancing, and sl-o-o-o-o-o-wly turn towards the woman, antennae quivering, as the scene fades to black.}
Okay, so maybe my vision of the House of Tomorrow is a little darker than Tex Avery's, but I still think it would still be really cool.
